I felt it was about time I wrote something real. Over the last few months, I have gained a pretty 2.5 stone and I have been so hard on myself for doing this. Last year I found out I was infertile and the reasons for this lead to me choosing to have a major operation in March which left me sofa bound for a good 7-8 weeks. Comfort eating combined with lack of movement did me no favours at all; my waistline even less. It is so easy to look in the mirror and hate what you see, pick out your every flaw; the cellulite, the one boob slightly bigger than the other, that weird mole, the inability to see toes when you look down. I get it. However, whilst I am now on a mission to get back to my ideal size, I am also on a mission to find self-love in the process. It’s about time we all looked in the mirror and stopped despising what we see, so here are my top ways as to how we can all finally learn to love ourselves.
1. Bring your head back down to earth!
INSTAGRAM! MAGAZINES! HOLLYWOOD! It isn’t real! It’s so easy to scroll through the gram and see these perfectly proportioned Kardashian types and compare yourself constantly. Reality check: PHOTOSHOP. How often have you taken a selfie when you’ve looked good and thought ‘ew!’? These perfectly preened pictures have taken ages to perfect, have had lighting set to contour the best features and often, edited to F***!!!! It’s hard to remember that Instagram isn’t real life, that these people don’t look like this after an 8 hour grind in the office. Nobody is perfect and it’s so unhealthy to aspire to be so. Take some time out; stop scrolling through Instagram and spend more time appreciating what you do have as opposed to what you don’t have.
2. Change the way you think!
“Ok Amber, easier said than done.” I hear you say… you’re right. It is so much easier to say all these things than it is to put them into practice, however I truly believe this is key. My body has been through hell and back over the last 12 months and self loathing is something I am truly a pro at. However, instead of looking in the mirror and thinking “Gosh that scar is so ugly”, or “my stretch marks are so prominent”, think of what your body has done to create those marks. Maybe your scar is a funny story, or your scar is the result of an operation that gave you the ability to do something else, your stretch marks show that you’ve grown into a strong woman or carried a baby. Your body is amazing and each dimple and curve should remind you of that.
Focus on what you love. You might despise your thighs but love the way your waist sits above your hips. Keep thinking that way and over time you’ll stop focusing on the “bad” and turn them into positives.
3. Don’t put down other women!
You might not say it but we’ve all thought it. This is not helping you and your own journey to self love. How on earth are you supposed to truly love yourself and appreciate the way you look if you’re putting down other women trying to do the same? Do you ever feel paranoid that someone is looking at you and noticing the things you hate about yourself? Why would you want that for someone else? Nobody is flawless, but look for their positives and you’ll start to see them in yourself. The next time you see your gal pal, give her a compliment. Everyone is different and that’s what makes us unique.
4. Surround yourself with positive people!
Negative people are the worst people to be around. There’s negative and there’s negative. How many times have you listened to someone slate themselves to the high heavens and you’ve thought it was rubbish, wishing you had the features they hated about themselves? If you surround yourself with people who are constantly putting themselves down, you will do it too. Be positive, it’s contagious.
5. DO NOT FOCUS ON A NUMBER!
Scales, sizes: IGNORE, IGNORE, IGNORE! We are constantly told we should be a certain size, look a certain way, weigh less than a certain amount. SAYS WHO? It is always deflating when you try a pair of jeans on and the size you want isn’t the size that fits. It is NOT important. What is important, is how you feel. So the size up looks better than you’re average size- take it in your stride. Embrace the booty! Sizes are different in every shop, so stop looking at the numbers and focus on how you feel instead.
6. Ditch the makeup once in a while!
Makeup gives you confidence; it makes you feel pretty, it enhances your features and it makes us all look a bit more awake. Every now and again, step out of your comfort zone. Go to work with none of it on. At first it may be daunting, however focus on something else- don’t wear makeup, but dress to impress and do your hair. Find focus somewhere else on your body. Post that #nomakeupselfie, you’ll be surprised at how many compliments you get. Be brave and you’ll learn to feel confident with it. You don’t need a mask to feel beautiful.
As always, keep up to date on my Instagram!
Love, Amber x